people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
