Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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