Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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