mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
