I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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