just tell him i said nine months
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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