Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
