i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
