hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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