You smell like stripper and shame
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
