whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
