i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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