she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
