We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize