he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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