he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
