if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
