ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
