so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
