Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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