We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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