Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
