just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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