you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
