I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
