I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
