it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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