I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
