How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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