I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize