She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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