I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
