Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
