You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
