I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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