He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
