Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
