I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
