Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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