Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
