Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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