and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
