I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
