So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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