she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
