What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
