Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
