Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
