the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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