Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
