I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
