She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
