Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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