Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
