Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
