At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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