I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
