like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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