Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize