I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
