I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
