Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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