just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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