Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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