I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize