We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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