i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
