I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
